I yelled at an innocent man today.

i went to do my laundry here on campus. setup is you pay for the laundry [Rs. 20, or $0.50, for one washer/one dryer] at the reception building on the way to the laundry facilities, then when you get there you give your receipt to one of the cleaning guys whose responsibility it is to manage the place. guy will take your receipt, pull a coin out of his pocket, and use it to activate the necessary number of washers and dryers.

today i had 2 loads - one whites [meaning HOT water], one bright colors [meaning COLD water]. so i get to the laundry place, get my 2 washers set up, add the detergent, and the guy closes the door. but then he starts both cycles without me setting the water temperature first. asshole jumped the gun. but hey, no problem, i think. on the whites one i set the temp to "hot." and then i move to the other washer and press the "cold" button.

and nothing happens.

i try again. nothing.

the washer is set on "perm press," which is bad news bears for my clothes inside.

i tell the guy, who's still standing next to me, "this one isn't working. what can we do?"

he says, in terrible broken English, "sorry sir, can't do anything."

"what?" i say. "this machine is broken. stop the cycle, let me pull my clothes out, and i'll move them into another washer."

he repeats, "sorry sir, this is your washer."

i get a little annoyed. "i need cold water."

"this is fine."

"no, i need COLD. this is not cold."

[Indian head wobble] "sorry sir, this is fine."

"it's NOT fine! i need COLD!"

"ok ok, one second."

guy runs off, comes back 30 seconds with manager in tow. by now i'm starting to build up steam.

manager: "this machine works, sir."

"yeah but it's not cold water. i need cold water."

manager, pushing button, "ok it's not working."

"right, so can i switch my clothes into another washer?"

"no, the door is locked [sure enough it is], you will have to wait 25 minutes."

me, now really pissed: "what? but the entire cycle takes 25 minutes! this guy pressed the button before i did, he's the one to blame. i didn't do this!"

"yeah, he's new guy."

now i'm seething. "and that's my fault?! do something about this! i need cold water. pull the plug, turn the machine off, do what you need to do so i can get my clothes out of there!"

all this time the new guy is standing there, clearly not sure what to do here but just as clearly slighted by my direct personal attack on him.

"ok ok," says manager. then yelling in Kannada: "switch it off from the back!"

machine switches off. i switch out my clothes into a washer that actually works. start the new cycle - with COLD water, thank God - and sit down to read a book.

about 5 minutes later the harshness of my words, and the icy tone of my voice, during the confrontation make me realize that i'm not this mean. usually i'm level-headed, i keep my cool, and i know how to talk to people. but more importantly, guy didn't deserve that. i feel bad.

i see guy and manager talking 10 feet away. i stand up, walk over.

"hi. i'm really sorry. i was upset and i should not have yelled at you. i'm sorry."

[Indian head wobble] "no problem sir."

just like that. instant forgiveness.

---

and that's when i felt REALLY bad. he was so quick to forgive. he made an honest mistake - he was trying to help me out with the first machine - and i carried it out into a 10-minute episode in which i belittled another person. something he most certainly did not deserve.

sometimes, i wish i could forgive that easily and that quickly in my life.